With my school schedule this semester, this may very well be my last recap of The Bachelor for a hot minute. Some of you reading this may be bummed, while others are probably breathing a sigh of relief. If you want to catch last week’s recap, you can do so HERE.
Episode 3 starts with where we left off last week. Because, producers got really smart and moved rose ceremonies to the beginning of episodes rather than the end. I’ll admit, that was a good marketing move. Nick goes to the group of girls (most of whom I can’t remember) to deliver the not-so-surprising-but-kind-of-surprising news that he ditched Liz on the group date. And, he announces that the two of them did the deed 9 months ago (at Jade & Tanner’s wedding, if you didn’t catch on). Because America was obviously unaware. I thought we left Liz in episode 2? Don’t bring that negativity into this episode, please and thank you!
ABC decides to show snippets of his one-on-one conversations with random girls, but, let’s get to the real stuff (it’s reality television for a reason). Corrine shows Nick her girls, again (she did this last weekend also). But, let it be noted: she is not a mom. Wait. There’s more. She had Nick lick the whipped cream off of them. On the first date. Yes, she’s wife material. Wife her up, Nick. Or don’t. That’s a good option too. Corinne is officially deemed “Corrine-ge worthy.”
Rose Ceremony Highlights: Corinne is asleep, the girl wearing/showing her bra is eliminated, and Alexis said “move, bitches” and is now my favorite
Group Date: I’m so jealous of this date. The girls are dancing with the Backstreet Boys at their concert. I want it that way.
During the date, Corinne fusses about not feeling “comfortable” and not “being herself.” Why, Corinne? Is it because you’re wearing clothes for once?
After the dancing, we get to the personal conversations. Corinne steals Nick away first – surprise, surprise. In her conversation with Nick, she apologizes for being too drunk to attend the rose ceremony. She, then, proceeds to go to sleep. Again.
Back with the girls, Corinne discusses Raquel, her nanny. Y’all. She is 24 and has a nanny. Raquel makes her food (sliced cucumbers, per Corinne’s request), wakes her up, does her laundry and even brushes her teeth for her. I promise this isn’t the Corinne show and she hasn’t won quite yet.
One-On-One Date: Vanessa gets the date card! Back in the first episode, I declared Vanessa as a front runner in my book. They’re doing another fun date – a space simulator (zero gravity)! Where do I submit my application for this show?! I’m PB and Jelly, right now!
Vanessa gets sick and still looks amazing. I’m jelly of that, too! Nick comforts Vanessa and sticks by her, puke and all. These two together. It can be said, without a doubt in my mind now, that Vanessa is the front runner. Also, Nick on her date is my favorite Nick in three seasons. (I mean, Nick was crying on this date when he talks about the future – which should involve her if it’s up to me!)
Group Date: Who is the girl that read the date card? I’ve seriously never seen her in my life. The girls get to the destination and they’re participating in a high school track completion. I’m kidding. They did compete in various track activities, however, while wearing unsupportive sports bras. Not pretty. But, really? What is this date? No ma’am.
Nick to Astrid: “You killed it.” Translation – her boobs won the date. We all know Nick is a boobs man. Just ask Corinne.
We cut to Dominique crying about her relationship with Nick. If you’re crying this early on, you’re delusional. She said she’s not the “loudest” girl in the group. She is definitely the most annoying, though. She goes to Nick and lashes out at him for not focusing on her during the date. Boo, there are 6 other girls on the date. Next time, show your boobs. Nick has a thing for that.
Pool Party: Instead of a cocktail party, we get a pool party! Thank you, ABC, for making me miss the summer even more than I already do. We get more boobs (we’ve moved on from Liz to boobs) during this party. We also get more of Corinne all over Nick (we’ve moved on from Liz to Corinne). It’s a never ending cycle.
Nick finds out that Corinne has a nanny when Raven, who I’ve claimed as a favorite, spills the beans. Typically spilling beans is an accident. For Raven, it was no accident.
Raven: “She did not know how to clean a spoon.” – This will go down as the best line in the franchise. Ever.
During the pool party, Vanessa also proved that she is too good for this show – too kind, too pretty and way too smart.
And, it ends with Vanessa questioning Nick. BAM!
Favorites so far: Vanessa, Rachel, and Nick (does he count – he won me over on his date with Vanessa)
Thanks for reading! Who are your favorites so far?